Your Nature
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Your Nature
Who you are in an authentic sense
ELEMENT 1.1: YOUR NATURE
“Nurture your nature to bring out your best.”
–Tammy Hamawi
YOUR NATURE IS YOUR TRUE SELF.
It is who you are when you are at your least stressed and most peaceful.
Your nature includes your natural inclinations, desires, and fears.
Your nature can come through quite strongly in times of trouble. For example, Oskar Schindler, a German industrialist in World War II, went against his own political party in order to save his Jewish employees. Under deep stress, he revealed his true nature, which was compassionate and courageous. Similarly, you may have shown your true nature after facing a particularly difficult failure or setback. If you got back on your feet after a failure and tried again, you revealed the resilience in your nature.
“IN THE REAL WORLD, THERE IS NO NATURE VERSUS NURTURE ARGUMENT, ONLY AN INFINITELY COMPLEX AND MOMENT-BY-MOMENT INTERACTION BETWEEN GENETIC AND ENVIRONMENTAL EFFECTS.”
–GABOR MATE
YOUR LAYERS
The psychologist Viktor Frankle, who lived through the concentration camps in World War II, once wrote:
“We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken away from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”
Although we are not currently living through wartime, the pain and difficulty that we face in our lives offer us the same opportunity as the men in the concentration camps: to display our true nature despite the hardships and life challenges we may face.
However, identifying our true nature is far from a simplistic endeavour. When we examine who we are, we have to differentiate between the different layers that make up our identity.
As the Personality Onion illustrates, the outer layer of our selves includes our perceptions and behavioural patterns.
Although these layers are important, they are often just an expression of what is contained in our deeper layers—for example, our personal choices and internalised values. At the centre of this onion lie our core beliefs. These are the beliefs that drive us and fill us with a sense of personal purpose.
Why is it so important to break down the layers of personality in this way?
When you do so, you realise that who you are is not the same as the personality traits you possess. You are not your thoughts. You are not your desires. You are not your personal history. However, by becoming intimately familiar with these various parts of yourself, you can choose actions that will lead you into greater harmony with your true nature.
“I AM FUNDAMENTALLY AN OPTIMIST. WHETHER THAT COMES FROM NATURE OR NURTURE, I CANNOT SAY. PART OF BEING OPTIMISTIC IS KEEPING ONE’S HEAD POINTED TOWARDS THE SUN, ONE’S FEET MOVING FORWARD.”
–NELSON MANDELA
YOUR SOCIAL PENETRATION ONION
During Element 1.1, we’ll also discuss the Social Penetration Onion, which looks at how much of your self you disclose or expose to others.
As we go about our lives, we make unconscious decisions about how much we want to be personal or intimate with others. With coworkers, we may discuss casual topics like where we are from or what we studied in school.
These are the peripheral layers of our Onion.
As we get to know someone better, we may disclose more personal information if we feel it’s safe to do so. And when we feel very much at ease, we can reveal the central layers of our Onion, which hold our values, traits, and fears.
When we understand the differences between these layers of our selves, we can undergo a subtle but extremely significant shift in perspective. We can evaluate the different parts of ourselves and take actions that help support and serve us. We can also think more clearly and make decisions from an emotionally grounded and compassionate place.
That is our goal in this element of Stage 1: to investigate your nature through your natural tendencies and help you take responsibility for nurturing a set of values that best supports your well-being.
YOUR NATURE QUESTIONS
For each of the elements in this stage, we’ll ask you to ponder three profound questions. As you prepare for our upcoming session, set aside time to think about each one. Do this no more than 72 hours before our session so that your responses are fresh in your mind when we meet to discuss them.
- What do you love?
- What are you the most proud of in your life so far?
- When/where do you feel the most at ease?
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-George Bernard Shaw
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